Self-Reliance: Foundational Skills 2
(Wednesday)
Context:
Today we’ll be focusing on the second cornerstone durable skill: Self-appreciation.
To earn the appreciation of others, we must first appreciate ourselves. This entails having a positive, realistic self-image and recognizing our potential for personal and skill development.
Employers highly value individuals who have confidence in themselves and understand their own value. This is because employers hire people whom they can have confidence in to carry out their assignments and tasks.
Definition:
Self-appreciation means acknowledging and valuing your worth, abilities, and accomplishments. It's about having a positive and honest view of yourself, recognizing your strengths, and embracing your goodness without feeling arrogant or overly confident.
A key factor that sets apart self-appreciation from related durable skills like self-compassion and self-esteem is not just acknowledging the positive aspects of who you are, but allowing yourself to bask and enjoy all that is good about you.
That can be a challenge for some people.
Why it’s important:
In the workplace (and in school and life), self-appreciation, the foundation of recognizing your worth and abilities, offers a multitude of benefits. It serves as the initial step, as self-appreciation is needed before you can truly feel self-worth, self-esteem, or self-confidence.
Self-appreciation boosts engagement because you want to share your ideas to help your team in the workplace. Work quality improves because you know what you’re capable of achieving. Positive relationships are easily built because you are not intimidated, critical, or competitive with others. It's the foundation for professional success, enabling you to excel and thrive in your career.
Primer Questions
How do you react when people give you compliments or praise you? Do you secretly doubt that they really mean it?
Can you easily choose five things you like about yourself?
When was the last time you felt great about something you did or accomplished?
Is it easy for you to compliment or commend others?
Write down your answers and observations in your journal.
Be Your Own Best Friend
“If you have a friend who’s having a bad day, you would usually try to turn their situation around by pointing out all the positives that they currently possess. Easy, right? But, when it comes to ourselves, we become more critical and less compassionate, even during the times when we need support the most.”
-www.trackinghappiness.com
So learn to be your own best friend using positive self-talk.
What would you say?
Activity:
Write down three paragraphs of things you could say to a friend that was feeling down, or feeling bad about themselves. You might need to make them generic, for example, “You know that you are really great at __________, and you’re much better than me at ______________!” Or you might write down that you would tell them the qualities that you admire most in them., but leaving those qualities blank for now.
Save these paragraphs. Then the next time you feel low, read the paragraphs to yourself. Or read it to yourself right now as a personal pep-talk.
Learn to use your own self-talk to show appreciation for you.
Ask others.
You might not see yourself as others do. Ask your three closest friends and family members what qualities or traits they like most about you. Ask them what they think your strengths are. Ask them in which areas they think you have potential. Ask them why they like you.
They may mention something unexpected, positive traits or qualities that you never thought you possessed, or a quality or trait that you haven't valued until now.
Either way, whatever positive traits, qualities, talents, skills, or achievements they mention, make sure to give yourself a pat on the back, so to speak. Allow yourself to feel their appreciation for you.
Give yourself permission to appreciate all that you are.
Self-appreciation can be challenging for some individuals, often due to a negative external environment. If their family or acquaintances have rarely offered compliments or recognition, or if they've consistently received negative feedback throughout their lives, their subconscious may struggle to allow them to appreciate themselves or their achievements.
In situations like these, positive self-talk becomes crucial for appreciating your positive aspects and qualities. It's important to understand that some people might hesitate to compliment you because they have their own insecurities. They may not praise you because they haven't experienced much praise themselves. You need to honestly recognize all of your positive traits, qualities, and achievements, no matter how small they may seem. This recognition is essential to counteract their inaccurate assessment of you, which stems from their own negative self-talk.
What do the statements below mean to you?
Thought of the day.
“Self-appreciation is that feeling you get when others are proud of you, except you initiate that feeling yourself.”
-Todd Macadangdang, MindSage Trainer/Mentor