Emotional Intelligence 3

(Friday)

Reading between the lines.

A very important aspect of developing your emotional intelligence (EI) is being able to detect and decipher non-verbal clues.

What it is: Nonverbal communication is the transfer of information through body language, facial expressions, gestures, mannerisms, and created space including physical contact or lack thereof.

Many people are not even aware of the nonverbal messages they are sending. While some people are able to control how they feel and therefore provide fewer clues to others about what they are actually feeling or thinking, the fact nonverbal cues can be an unconscious occurrence allows you to gain additional information about others without them saying a word. But only if you have a developed EI.

Why it’s important: Your future success will depend heavily upon the relationships you build and maintain. A major part of any relationship is the ability to communicate. There are times, however, when verbal communication may not be forthcoming, for any number of reasons in both life and the workplace. Your ability to obtain additional information from others by visual observation will give you an edge in obtaining a positive outcome.

Actions speak louder than words.

Are you ‘easy to read? In other words, can people tell how you are feeling just by looking at you? There are benefits to being easy to read. People always know where they stand with you.

Do you sometimes act on the outside, differently than you feel on the inside? Why do you do that?

***You’ll need it more often than you think.***

***There are a number of phrases used in both everyday life and the workplace that emphasize the need for you to learn how to identify and understand nonverbal cues.***
Have you heard any of these phrases?
“Read the room”
“Read between the lines.”
“Call their bluff”, or “They’re bluffing.”
“Put on your game face”.
“He has a good poker face.”
“He wears his emotions on his sleeve.”
“He’s sending mixed messages.”
“I’m getting the cold shoulder.”
Can you think of others?

Nonverbal workplace and relationship example.

In both relationships and the workplace, showing concern helps build bonds. Can you show concern through nonverbal communication?
A client may suggest a specific feature that would ruin the performance of her mobile app, or make a request to eliminate an important feature of her mobile app. Pausing, or not saying anything at all after the suggestion, can speak volumes. Especially if accompanied by a worried or concerned look.
The same holds true if a friend is contemplating doing something that is a bad decision and could lead to negative consequences. Your non-verbal cues can be very effective in communicating how you feel about the potential decision.
Can you think of other nonverbal communication or cues that you can use just as effectively as saying what you’re thinking out loud?

Nonverbal communication plays a significant role in our lives, as it can improve a person's ability to relate, engage, and establish meaningful interactions in everyday life.

A better understanding of this type of communication may lead people to develop stronger relationships with others.

Consider the images and situations below.

In an important meeting with a client, upper management, or your team, how can you use your facial expression, poster, or mannerisms to show confidence in your proposal, plan, or team? How would 'reading the room' help you know how to adjust what you say? Write your thoughts in your journal.

Do you find it easy to 'read your friends?' Do you know what they're feeling even without them saying a word? Are you sensitive to their nonverbal communication? If you are, could you use that same level of sensitivity in other situations?

Are you as sensitive to your family's nonverbal communication as you are to your friends? If not, why? What motivates you to be observant to what others are feeling? Write your observations in your journal.

Are there professions where reading nonverbal communication is vital to your success or the safety of yourself and others?

When going into an interview, could your posture, facial expressions, or behavior make an impact on your chances of getting a job? Could you notice nonverbal communication from the person interviewing? Write your comments and observations in your journal.

How can being aware of others' emotions and what they are experiencing, impact how you treat them, or what you say to them? Do you think acting or speaking in accord with what you know from nonverbal communication will weaken or strengthen a relationship? Explain in your journal.

The numbers don’t lie. Emotional intelligence is valuable in the workplace.

The following information is from Forbes magazine.

Innovation. When people reported their leaders were empathetic, they were more likely to report they were able to be innovative—61% of employees compared to only 13% of employees with less empathetic leaders.
Engagement. 76% of people who experienced empathy from their leaders reported they were engaged compared with only 32% who experienced less empathy.

Steps for change.

Emotions can interfere with our ability to learn and make sound decisions. High emotional intelligence allows us to better identify and control our emotions. In turn this allows us to remain in a state where we can learn, and act in ways that are guided by logic.
Understanding what we’re feeling and why can help us act appropriately. But that’s only one-half of being emotional intelligence. The second component is being able to understand what others are feeling and why. But take it a step further. Just knowing what someone is feeling is not enough. We need to act, speak or behave in a way that shows we understand what they are feeling. This is called empathy.
People don’t always speak or act based on how they actually feel. A practical way to build your emotional intelligence is to develop your ability to read nonverbal cues. If you have ever been surprised because someone cried or got angry by something you said or did, more likely than not, you missed all their nonverbal cues and signs.