Appreciation and Success 2

(Wednesday)

Context:

It’s important to understand the nature of complaining, and its impact on you and your future.
Some people live in an environment where the focus is on ‘lack’ - what they don’t have. They focus on the negative and live in a state of negativity.
In this environment, complaining is commonplace. Nothing is ever good enough. No matter how much one has, it’s never enough. The focus is on the negative traits or qualities of people, or what is perceived to be lacking.

Why it’s important: Complaining kills. At least professionally speaking. What we mean is that employees that complain are irritating. Irritating employees are expendable - no matter how good your skill set may be.

Bringing a critical/negative or complaining mindset into the workplace can hamper your success and satisfaction on the job. It can negatively impact your performance and interaction with others.

Primer Questions

Do you complain rarely? on occasion? or constantly?
Do others view you as a complainer? Ask a family or friend to validate your answer.
Do you enjoy being around people who complain a lot?

Write down your answers and observations in your journal.

Complaining’s Real Impact

Research indicates that chronic complaining has real physiological effects.
Complaining can make one feel sad, mad, or powerless. This in turn causes neurotransmitters in the brain to reinforce negative thought patterns through neural ‘rewiring’.
Reinforcing negative thought patterns through complaining makes it easier and easier for unhappy thoughts to repeat themselves. In fact, a continuous cycle of negative thoughts may even cause damage to the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain used for problem-solving.

Did you know? Chronic complainers are also prone to black-and-white thinking. Things are either good or bad.

Because they are prone to complaining, they see only the bad. Given their negativity, it is hard for them to make decisions and solve problems, which can make it very hard to work with them.

Chronic complainers have a damaging effect on others.

People who are always negative and pessimistic, without realizing it, transfer their feelings onto others. This is called “projective identification”, and can make others feel weighted down or exhausted by their negativity.
What effect do you have on people that you work with on school group projects? Or on a school team? What effect do you think you will have on your workmates?

Make it stand out.

This doesn’t mean that from time to time you can’t complain about a situation. But now is the time to take an honest look at yourself and determine if you’re addicted to complaining.

Metacognitive assignment Part 2.

Count your complaints.

For the first part of the week, you were assigned to create a list of all that you are thankful and grateful for. For the remainder of the week you have only one assignment: stop complaining.

See how long you can go without complaining about anything or anyone. Some of you will have an easy time making it to the end of the week without a single complaint. Some of you may find it hard to go an hour before you complain about something.

In your journal write down how easy or hard it was for you to stop complaining. Also, write down what you complained about. Sometimes, becoming aware of what you are critical about can give you a good idea of what you need to work on.